Dads for Life

"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" - Lydia M. Child

An interesting conversation over dinner triggered this post. It is not about "It is cool to have kids"... although I know that was not the true intention of the comment.

Parenting is a lifetime commitment and Obama said it best when he says it takes courage to be a dedicated parent. To become a father is not difficult, but to be a father is coz it doesn't matter who he was; it matters who the child remember he was...

This heartwarming video is a tribute to the fathers and 'future' fathers out there, enjoy :)

GrandPa

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count; it's the life in your years. Because I've loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die."

When aunt Sophie told me that Grandpa has frank diabetes, I was surprised especially since my maternal family does not have a genetic history of diabetes. Aunt Sophie explained that it was due to his lymphoma going through a relapse and that sometimes diabetes is an outcome or a sign of the impending pancreatic cancer. My heart just sank.

When I was staying with Grams a few years back, we fought the lymphoma and grandpa was in remission then. And to hear the bad news now... it seems unfathomed! Mum told me that we cannot fight fate... but that does not mean that we give up fighting. I pray that grandpa will continue to do his glucose check and take his regular dose of medicine. Aunt Sophie's words kept ringing in my head "he's a walking time bomb due to his heart condition, diabetes, lymphoma".

No one could truly empathise with what grandpa is going through. Being the quiet old man who would rather fight his battles in silence than complain and cause anxiety among his wife and kids, I truly understand why he is the way he is. He said before "I'm ready to die"... and his time will come... I wish that the immediate and extended family are willing to let him go when his time comes. Regardless, we love you, grams *hugs*

P/S: Please pray for the wellbeing of this man whom we love dearly.

San Jose

I was supposed to be at San Jose last week but due to certain circumstances, I could not be there. Nonetheless, I'm glad to be able to at least read what a good pal has taken away from the sessions there [thanks Maish for sharing] :)

Idul Adha

"It is He Who hath made you the inheritors of the earth: He hath raised you in ranks, some above others: that He may try you in the gifts He hath given you: For thy Lord is quick in punishment: yet He is indeed Oft-forgiving Most Merciful"

Have you ever, in the midst of a hectic day, pause to wonder, "What exactly is our purpose on this earth?"

As mum and I bid farewell to Aunt Sophie and hubby who are heading to Mecca for the Hajj or Pilgrimage, I'm reminded of the fact that man's role on earth is as a servant and vicegerent of Allah SWT. May I don't lose sight of what is truly important, God willing.

P/S: Mum, I know it has been your desire to visit the Holy land. I pray that Allah SWT will allow me to take you to Mecca in the near future, Insya Allah.

Biker Bliss

The ride from Bugis back home was exhilirating. I did it, Regy so don't doubt my ability alright, ha! Hmm, can't remember when was the last time I rode a bike... must have been ages! You know that feeling of being free, that's how it feels riding a bike, the world is your's alone and just spend sometime for I, Me and Myself and leave the madness behind ;P

Anyway, as promised, I will fully optimise it while Regy is away in San Jose/San Francisco the next 2 weeks, heavenly bliss!

P/S: Dear Regy, read this. Have a safe flight! ;)

Conscious Marriage

I finally finished Dance of Love. Verdict: I agree with the ending in finding your other half who shares your belief or spirituality because it is much easier to raise a family when both parents have similar core values and belief system - "The mind seeks an easy relationship; the heart seeks a spiritual partner. The more a relationship supports each person in awakening to a spiritual aspect, the more expansive, spontaneous, wonderful and passionate it will be."

The next book I'm reading has a similar ring to it "Conscious Marriage: A New Model for Making Marriage Work". Stay tuned.

P/S #1: I will definitely read Unconventional, recommended by the author himself, J.J [thanks for adding me to your Shelfari contact list and for your word of encouragement!]

P/S #2: Happy birthday to dear Luke :)

Love is All Around

"Give me tranquillity, calm the storm that exists in my skin. Give me springs to enjoy, days that go away don't have to return. It can be the voice of your peace and love... help me to change today and make me be better."

The evening jog to Cascadale and back did some good. The moral of the story for the week - strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday. I'll end this short post with a song by Robbie Williams:

P.S: It was nice catching up with mum, who just got back from KL.

More 2 Life

“Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Opportunities presented themselves to me this week. Just when I was mentally toying with the idea of 'greener pastures', offers came a knocking, partly due to the visibility I get via my LinkedIn account. Allah knows what is best for me and with time, the story will unravel itself, so stay tuned! I’ll end this post with a nice video (depicting my current state of mind at this juncture).

P.S: The networking tonight with the corporate group went well. Given a choice, I'd rather spend more quality time with my family and lil cousins (miss you guys, focus on your exams and we'll have a blast afterwards)

Keep the Faith

Today shall be a short post. I leave you with this nice melody (English version here) by talents from our shores, enjoy!

On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property. As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. - Emmanuel Teney

Patience

Someday, maybe there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. - Eric Erickson

Today, I felt compelled to share my thoughts about a topic close to my heart - children. With the impending divorce surrounding a friend and a cousin, instinctively my heart goes out to the children who probably won't truly understand why is there a need for dad and mum to live in two separate places. Mum said there are many factors that make or break a family unit such as external factors (outside 'distractions', extended family, etc) or internal undercurrents due to the lack of communication or a clash in personalities and values.

And that a marriage can withstand the test of time if there is a genuine connection between two persons, complemented by honesty, integrity, solid communication and that willingness to keep working on the relationship. Hold steadfastly to your faith and be close to Allah SWT as you go about your role, right mum?

With the best of intentions, I pray that I would have the constant faith and patience and not put my future kids through such an ordeal, so help me God, Ameen!

Halal.Haram.Syubha.

Just had a discussion with my uncle about chocolates. Its not easy just by looking at the ingredients to see if the product contains halal ingredients because halal also encompasses the process of making the product.

For illustrative purpose, I used to LURVE Ferrero Rocher, Kinder Bueno and Nutella...Found out that Ferrero products can be haram due to the following ingredients:

Soya lecithin E322
These are emulsifiers obtained from animal or vegetable materials through physical procedures. Most lecithins are commercially obtained from soya beans. MUIS classify this as Shubha by way of its source or manufacturing process; advised to avoid products with this ingredient.
Source - MUIS list of additives pdf

Calf rennet
Rennet is used to make cream, butter, cheese, drinks, etc and is extracted from animal stomach and is Halal (in the form of cheese, etc) even when extracted from an animal that has not been slaughtered Islamically according to Hazrat Imam Abu Hanifah (rahmatullahialay) BUT it is better to abstain from it and whey carries the same ruling.
Source - Muslim Food Guide, page 10, 2000

Whey powder
Whey is a product of the clotting of milk.

Halal Status of Whey
The media and the type of rennet may influence the halal status of whey produced from them.

The following are the requirements for us to be sure that the whey is halal:
- Mother culture media has to be halal.
- Bulk culture media has to be halal.
- Microbial rennet preparation has to be used.
- Dryers where liquid whey is dried to make whey solid or powder should not be used to dry animal based media and rennet whey to avoid contamination.

It is advised that we restrict ourselves to only halal or kosher certified whey as shown by the halal or kosher symbols such as UD, KD, and COR.

Non-halal or Kosher certified whey made even with non-animal based media and microbial rennet is not recommended because the cheese manufacturer can change the media and rennet source any time without notifying Muslim consumers.

The enzyme most commonly used to make cheese is rennet, which comes from the stomach of calves. The rennet is Halal if the calf was slaughtered according to Islamic requirements. Whey prepared with microbial enzymes is Halal. Whey is used in processed foods such as crackers. Call the food manufacturer to determine the source of the whey.

Another source indicated that some Ferrero products from UK are halal:
Ferrero UK Limited
Halal – Kinder – Bueno, Chocolate, Surprise; Tic Tac – Fresh Mint, Lime/Orange, Orange
Ferrero Rocher Chocolates – contains calf whey powder/syrup

Yet another source have indicated ingredients such as alcohol flavourings which can be halal (alcohol halal? hmm) or haram (containing calf rennet).

Conclusion:
It is not easy to find UK made chocs (saw some at Guardian but on rare occassions). So as a precautionary measure, always check if the 3 ingredients mentioned above are present. It is better to err on the side of caution, don't you think?

A non-muslim pal asked before why is it important for Muslims to eat halal? Islam is a religion, which encourages its practitioners to eat halal and safe food from Allah's bounty.

Just the thought of 'tainting' my system with haram food and then prostrating to Allah SWT with a 'tainted' body just does not cut it for me. We have to submit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to be a true a Muslim or Muslima.

After all, we live but a mere few seconds on this earth... such supposedly 'incoveniences' when weighed on the scale are insignificant to the life we look forward to in Jannah, insya Allah :)

Walla hualam bissawab

Birthday Boy Irfan

Here's my warmest birthday wish to Irfan *muah*

Allow me to share this quote (thanks to u, u know who u are):

In modesty and humility, be like the earth.
In tolerance, be like the sea.
In generosity and helping others, be like the river.
In compassion and grace, be like the sun.
In concealing others' faults, be like the night.
And in anger and fury, be like the dead.

Approval & Blessings

The prudence of the best heads is often defeated by the tenderness of the best of hearts - Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)

When I saw this nice quote, it immediately brought me back to the discussion I had with a dear old friend over the weekend. No matter how obstinate a stubborn parent is, once tended with constant tenderness by the best intentions, things will fall into place. I wish him all the best :)

It was nice spending a quiet evening with mum. Hope you love the specs!

Dance of Love

"Relationship is a powerful, often dizzying dance of polarities - sometimes delightful and seductive, sometimes fierce and combative, sometimes energizing, sometimes exhausting... The dance of relationship always involves alterations - between coming together and moving apart, taking hold and letting go, yielding and taking the lead, giving ourselves and maintaining integrity. It is not an easy dance to learn. Many people soon loose the rythm and wind up deadlocked in opposing positions, knowing only how to attack or withdraw."

Most books talk about "What's wrong with relationships and how we can fix them?" and the beauty of this book is that it focuses on "What's right about relationships that are already working successfully?" with concrete examples from real couples the author interviewed for this book.

Relationships or any form of commitment for that matter, are never easy... so is marriage, both parties have to work on it. The love experience is largely that of our own essence, as it is evoked by the presence of the other. Presence means presenting our own essence, taking off the masks and defenses, having our hearts open. It is the commitment to work diligently on their relationships, to persevere in resolving any difficulties and to consistently support each other.

I love the use of analogy of yoga to describe relationships - relationship requires awareness, focus, intent and consistent practice.It teaches us to stretch and strengthen parts of ourselves, to take unfamiliar positions while remaining centered and in balance, to direct our energy in new ways and to relax. We have the choice to be protective and avoid pain, or to open and learn to work with it. Yoga is challenging and invigorating, hard work and great fun. It gets easier and brings new insights as we move along the path. And it requires... commitment, commitment to integrity, to embrace our wholeness and the wholeness of our partner... seeing the oneness while seeking resolution of differences, without attempts at manipulating one to satisfy the other.

Hmm, the book asks if you have been in a relationship where in large or small ways, agreeing to things that you don't want to do? How often do you lie about your feelings or behaviour for fear of rejection, anger, loss, pain or hurting someone's feelings? And how often are you able to maintain your integrity in the face of those fears? These are questions worth exploring.

The books encourages us to practice the Voice Dialogue - recognising our inner selves: the pusher, pleaser, controller, critic, vulnerable child, rebel, good parent, and many more. Giving the various selves a voice helps us discover what each one feels and thinks, what it needs and what it has to offer. Some of these are primary selves, those which we most value and identify with as who we are. Opposite each primary self is a disowned self, one which we judge as bad or deny exists. When some selves take exclusive control and others are shut down, inaccessible, we are automatically out of integrity. All aspects of our wholeness want to be recognised, accepted and integrated in some way.

Interestingly, our partners will often embody the selves we disown (polar opposites attract) and this can be a source of great conflict for couples or else they can come to appreciate that each partner holds an energy that the couple needs to develop... bottomline we need to look out for complementary characteristics in that each partner brought balance and new ways of being for the other to integrate - the key: allowance, agreeing and disagreeing at times. And being mindful or one's Aware Ego is the central aspect of personality which recognises and honors all the many facets of ourselves, consciously choosing which energies to bring into expression at a given time.

I've just finished chapter 2 of chapter 9 and what I gather from this book is that relationships require self-awareness, persistence, flexibility, patience and lots of honest communication, which is the subject of the the subsequent chapters so stay tuned!

Mum's wishes

It has been an interesting few months. Only good tidings await and I'm ready for them.

Today shall be a short post. I just want to wish mum a wonderful birthday. Just like any other day, today is a day to say thank you especially for all that you do. It's a day to bless you, for all that you do especially for just being you.

PS: Enjoyed the outing with my young cousins... it was a blast! Let's do this again :)

Love Maths

1 x 8 + 1 = 91
2 x 8 + 2 = 9812
3 x 8 + 3 = 987123
4 x 8 + 4 = 98761234
5 x 8 + 5 = 9876512345
6 x 8 + 6 = 987654123456
7 x 8 + 7 = 98765431234567
8 x 8 + 8 = 9876543212345678
9 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

Brilliant, isn't it? And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 111 x 11 = 1211
11 x 111 = 123211
111 x 1111 = 12343211
1111 x 11111 = 1234543211
11111 x 111111 = 123456543211
111111 x 1111111 = 12345676543211
1111111 x 11111111 = 1234567876543211
11111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this...101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%. How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R ST U V W X Y Z
Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 1617 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If: H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And: K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+ 4+7+5 = 96%

But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top! Subhan Alllah!

Eco Living

I'm inspired by the Project7Ten documentary that showcases eco-friendly homes hence this post.

For skeptics, this is no gimmick; LEED certification program actually makes self-sustaining home that is kinder to your pockets while benefiting human kind in the long run:

• Lower operating costs and increase asset value
• Reduce waste sent to landfills
• Conserve energy and water
• Be healthier and safer for occupants
• Reduce harmful greenhouse gas emissions
• Qualify for tax rebates, zoning allowances and other incentives in hundreds of cities
• Demonstrate an owner's commitment to environmental stewardship and social responsibility

It is easy to live eco-friendly life by starting with purchasing home appliances, clothes such as Stewart & Brown, food, etc. For home appliances, Energy Star lists energy- and money-saving appliances that is environmental friendly while Australia has energy efficient programs such as energy rating, home packages with rebates, REES makes homes energy smart. Singapore enegy labelling scheme kickstarts April 2009 and Singapore is cultivating energy smart hotels, offices and retail malls, ... a good start, finally! Would you get started?

Silent Hero

Time and again, human nature tends to veer towards the unnecessary. Celebrate in life instead of criticize, coz in death, wouldn't it be too late? I end my post with poignant excerpts from the song Gone Too Soon:

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day, Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon,
Gone Too Soon...

Verses of love

I read the book before I watched the DVD with my family and it clicked. Unconditional love means loving the Creator above all coz nothing truly belong to us as our lives on earth are a mere test of our conviction and faith. Allow me to leave you with the OST from the movie, enjoy!



PS: The couple that fights the most is the one most in love... it shows they care enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention it to the person so they can fix it. When you stop fighting it means you stopped caring. So, to the lovely couple, happy birthday :)

Accidental hero

Today, upon reaching home, mum told me that my youngest nephew was hospitalised. He had second degree burn from scalding. Mother and child will remain in the hospital for further observation. My heart went out to my nephew.

Accidents happen to the best of us and I hope my sister-in-law does not get too caught up with the feeling of guilt; everyone wants to be the best parent for his or her child.

There is hikmah in all situations. Perhaps, we will be more mindful in ensuring a safe haven for our children at home. For a start, read this article on preventing scald burns.